Escapades in a WalMart
by Gweniveve Skyes
Summary: Marik needs to go buy a last minute gift for his sister... complete and utter chaos. Rated 'T' for even more innuendos, Marik chewing out the self checkout register and Bakura threatening people


Escapades In A Wal-Mart

Hello my faithful readers XD! And those who aren't XD lol! I have now been fully initiated into the Fanfic community... I got my first flamer. Unfortunately, I can't delete them 'cuz they aren't anonymous... does any one know how to get rid of non-anon (ooh, it rhymed lol) review? I'm rather peeved at this person because they have now marred a perfectly good story with their smear...

*This is partly based on a true story. One night I was going to spend the night at a friend's house but then her step-mom decided that they needed to go shopping at the last minute. So after meeting her there and dropping my stuff off in their car, my friend and I wandered the aisles of Wal-Mart and had some fun, mainly having fun in the 'intimates' aisle, chewing out a self check out cash register and having a fangirl moment over Johnny Depp themed sleep wear.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or Lady Gaga... wait, why am I doing a disclaimer in the first place? We all know this already...

* means curse word of choice Each * means one word

Bakura: Do we have to shop here at Wal-Mart? I absolutely hate going here. The people here are total idiots.

Marik: Oh shut up kitty, I need to buy a last minute gift for my sister's birthday.

Bakura: Don't call me kittty

Marik: Can I call you Furby then? 'Cuz you look like one.

Bakura: No

Marik: How 'bout Florence then?

Bakura: Shut up.

_(In Wal-Mart)_

Bakura: Do you know what you are getting for Ishizu?

Marik: Nope

Bakura: Does that mean that we're stuck wandering the aisles until we find something?

Marik: Yep

Bakura: I. Hate. YOU.

Marik: Well that's not very ni- ooh look! The 'Intimates' aisle! I've always wanted to go in there!

Bakura: Its a bunch of women's underwear, there's not much to it. And besides, I highly doubt that your sister wants leopard printed underwear for her birthday, though, I do have to admit, she would look quite good in it... _(A/N: And now you have the image of Marik's sister in leopard printed underwear... you're welcome for scarring your mind )_

Marik: Eeww! That's my sister you're talking about there! Pervert!

Bakura: Thus proving I'm straight

Marik: _(Squeezing one of the water-filled bras) _Ooh, these are quite squishy _(Reads label) _'Lifts and separates...' Bakura?

Bakura: Now what?

Marik: Is this what Mai Valentine uses?

Bakura: No you imbecile, those are implants.

Marik: ...ooohhh... Joey's one lucky son of a...

Bakura:_(Drags Marik out of the aisle) _Don't make me leave you here.

_(They pass the Entertainment section)_

Marik:_ (Fangirl scream) _They have Lady Gaga's latest hit! And you can listen to it! _(Puts on headphones and starts dancing to 'Bad Romance'... A/N: He dances like a really white person... He sees Bakura wandering off) _Bakura, where are you going?

Bakura: I'm going to the sporting goods section and buying a gun. Then, I'm going to kill you with it, and maybe Yugi Moto too _(Somewhere far away... Yugi: Hey!... wait, I think we already did that joke already, my bad)._

Marik: Oh don't be such a drama Furby. I got her gift anyways _(Holds up Lady Gaga's newest CD)_

Bakura: I told you, don't call me Furby. Besides, I thought she doesn't like Lady Gaga

Marik: _(winks) _I know that, and you know that, but she doesn't know that I know that. That way, when I give her her gift, she won't want it... then I get to return it and get my money back or I get to keep the CD, I hope its the latter...

Bakura: You like Lady Gaga? And here I thought you were straight

Marik: Oh ha ha. Everybody likes Lady Gaga.

Bakura: Except your sister. Look can we go now? I'm this close to killing someone.

Marik: _(sighs) _Fine, funsucker!

Bakura: Real mature Marik, real mature.

_(At the checkout area)_

Bakura: The place is really crowded. Ops, looks like we can't get your sister's gift after all. Let's go home.

Marik: The self checkout lines are open. Lets use those

Bakura: *

_(At the self checkout line)_

Checkout machine: Please pick English or Spanish

_(Marik presses the English button) _

Checkout machine: Please pick English or Spanish

Marik: I just picked English you * machine! English! _(Presses English button rapidly multiple times)_

Checkout machine: Please pick English or Spanish

Marik: Gaaaaahhhh! Look here you stupid * machine! Once I get my * hands on you, I'm gonna * * * * * and then I'll * * * * and then* * * * * * So then you * * * *...

Bakura: Dear Ra. This is why we don't let you handle technology.

Marik: _(panting after his break down) _ I give up. Lets go to Target instead.

Bakura: Better hope they don't have self checkout lanes there.

Marik: Shut up Florence.

I'm sure this one has been done before, but I think this one has to be the best, not trying to brag or anything lol.


End file.
